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Why most couples don’t see the results they want in their marriage
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///.. Why most couples never see the results they truly want in their marriage ..///
Never in my life have I met a couple who doesn’t experience challenges in their marriage from time to time.
Let’s face it, you’re going to experience it as some point and hear me out, my friend, you don’t have to stress about it.
Challenges are part of the marriage rollercoaster. Truth is, I believe challenges are great for you, great for your marriage and essential part of your personal and relationship health.
==============================================
The test for you however, is when you give your challenges permission to slide you backwards into doing things like:
Allowing your fear, frustration or stress to turn you against those you love the most
Getting paralyzed by fear
Pointing out all the reasons why you are going to fail
Blaming others or circumstances and allowing yourself to be a victim
And doing everything BUT what will take you and your marriage to the next level ===============================================
You’ve got to shift your belief and reaction to those “hard times”
===============================================
This is vital.
Whether you like it or not, you’re never going to breakthrough the crap life has thrown at you until you’ve successfully broken through the “meaning” you have created about them.
……………………………………………………………………………
So, here’s a little test you can give yourself right now.
Think about your most recent challenge.
Got it in your mind???? Good.
Now…….
Do you run toward it, or away from it?
Do you blame others for it?
How do you talk to others about it?
Do you look for the blessings, or complain about the pain?
Do you see the lessons offered, or see yourself stuck with no-way out?
……………………………………………………………………………
I work with a lot of people and too often I hear and see people running from their problems, and wallowing in their pain. I see couples hit a bump in the road and call it quits.
But I also see those that pick themselves up after getting knocked down. I see grit and tenacity from people who refuse to give up, refuse to give in.
I see couples grasping each other’s hands even in the midst of the storms of life and choose to allow those storms to drive their roots deeper, strengthen their foundations and beautify their marriages with a glory only forged by the fires and the winds and the rains.
The most brilliant diamonds form from the most extreme pressures.
…………………………………………………………………………
Run toward your challenges. Embrace the tough times.
Every painful, awful, unexpected hardship is a beautiful gift and opportunity to learn, grow and strengthen yourself and your marriage if you allow it to.
_______________________________________
The bottom line is this……
You’ve got to stop buckling to the challenges before you.
You’ve got to stop overwhelming yourself with information and fluff.
You’ve got to stop distracting yourself or numbing yourself to the pain and the hurts.
Instead, embrace the gift before you.
Allow it to be your teacher.
And in the end, you will look back and realize it was these times, right here and right now, that were the best ones of your life.
You’re not alone and we’re here to help. Join our free Facebook Group, the Thriving Marriage if you want to chat with us further about what is going on in your marriage and how to get solutions. https://www.facebook.com/groups/thethrivingmarriage/
-Heather Choate
P.S. If you want further help with this, check out our free masterclass “RESTORATION EQUATION: The Specific Formula to Save Your Marriage” here: https://bit.ly/2NQbQdV
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